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SOMEWHERE IN MY "BRAINWORKS"

I can't remember when it happened,
but I'm told I had a wreck.
And I went through the windshield,
injuring my head and neck.

There they picked me up,
and sent me on an ambulance trip,
To the nearest regional hospital,
riding at a very fast clip!

My "Brainworks" had been disturbed,
from a blow to my head,
For I couldn't understand why,
I was in that hospital bed.

Although they tried to tell me,
I couldn't understand why,
They were all so concerned,
you'd think I was about to die!

When an injury to your "Brainworks",
hangs on for so long,
You live your life daily,
trying to separate right from wrong.

But being that as it may,
you keep going from day to day,
Loving those that are close,
for they show you "the way"!

Every cloud has a silver lining,
so, please God, let mine,
Give my "Brainworks" the repairs,
and let my life again shine.

Help those around me understand,
what they see is what they get,
But somewhere in my "Brainworks",
the best to come is yet!
-- Doede Poston

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This was my first Poem following my Brain Injury...

Where's the Title?? :o)

There's a portion of my brain,
that reminds me of what I
did at one time..........
And the portion that
reminds me, it's not
that easy to do
today........

If I can do it, it may be
accomplished in a
different way.....
I use that part, which
I can, and think on it
mostly........
I don't give up too soon,
on a new way, without trying.

There will be ways
I no longer can accomplish......
I must thank God, for all the joy in those
He shared in my life for awhile.......
And stop and pause with Him, and thank Him,
For the joy of all He allows me to do with Him
Today!

---- Doede Poston
Survivor of Traumatic Brain Injury



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1. Dealing with a catastrophic event

Crisis/chaos/shock:
Feeling overwhelmed, confused, lost. Something catastrophic is going on and we do not know how to deal with it. Our sense of emotional intactness is shattered.

Denial:
A protective response giving us time to process the painful events that have turned our lives upside down. We decide all this is not really happening and/or there is a perfect logical explanation for these events and/or it will pass, etc. We "normalize" what is going on.

Hoping - against - Hope:
The dawning of recognition and the hope that "this is not what I think it is" -- that it is something easier to deal with. Here we assume that if we make a huge effort it will change everything and our lives will go back to normal. This usually does not work: another crisis, or relapse dashes our hopes (families call this the "roller coaster").

2. Learning to cope: "Going through the Mill"

Anger/guilt/resentment:
We start to "blame the victim", insisting that the ill person should "snap out of it" or "get back to work". We feel fed up and do not want to handle it: we distance ourselves from the problem. At the same time, we harbor tremendous guilt, fearing that it is really our fault. Then we compensate and get over-involved with the problem. The ambivalence really drains us. We feel rejecting and too solicitous, all at the same time.

Recognition:
The fact that a catastrophic illness happened to someone we love becomes a reality for us. It is clear something tragic occurred that has changed our lives together. We begin to mark time as before/or/after the event of illness.

Grief:
We mourn the loss of the time before illness struck: we deeply feel the tragedy of what has happened to the person who is ill: we grieve that our future together is uncertain. If our loved ones have attacked or rejected us in their illness, we feel inconsolable. Because these illnesses are either episodic or chronic, our grief does not go away: it is "chronic sorrow".

3. Moving into Advocacy: "Charge!"

Understanding:
We begin to gain a solid, empathic sense of what our family members suffer in their illness. With some of our fear behind us we find we can grasp what the inner experience of illness is for our loved ones. We gain real respect for their courage and fortitude.

Acceptance:
Yes, we finally say, bad things do happen to good people. We surely wish this trouble had not come into our lives, but it did, and we can accept our misfortune. It is not our fault: it is not their fault. It is a sad difficult life experience, but we will hang in there and manage.

Advocacy/Action:
With a measure of acceptance, we can now focus our anger and grief and work to confront the system that has often failed us. We are ready to "come out", to fight stigma and to change the world that shames the mentally ill and their families. We join public advocacy groups, we get involved.

Some Important Things To Remember About The Whole Process

1. None of these stages are "wrong" or "bad". They are normal reactions everyone experiences when faced with serious illness and with critical disruptions in their lives.

2. These stages are not necessarily "progressive". Often we are in more than one stage at a time. Sometimes we feel we are beginning to accept the problem and a crisis will take us right back to chaos and confusion! Families who deal with chronic or episodic illness will cycle through these stages of emotional response many times.

3. There is no "best way" to go through this. You will simple go through it your way. What helps is to know that it is a human process. If you can sense where you are in it, you can be more gentle with yourself and more understanding of those around you who may be dealing with a different phase in the cycle.

4. The people we love who are struggling with mental disorders go through very much the same kind of emotional response. Look at the cycle and determine for yourselves where you think you both need to be to communicate effectively. If you are not there, lay back a little. It takes us all a long time to reorganize these feelings and to identify the times when we can connect most effectively.



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Written by: Joyce Burland, Ph.D.

Mental illness is not mental retardation. Mental illness is often confused with Mental retardation, but they are very different conditions. Mental retardation refers to the state of a person below average intellectual functioning. Mental illness refers to a group of disorders causing severe disturbances in thinking, feelings, and relating. The capacity to cope with demands of life are lowered. People with mental illness are usually of normal or higher than normal intelligence, but they have difficulty performing at a normal level due to their illness. Mental illness is always serious and commonly shifts from one degree to another, causing a wide range of disability. People who suffer mental illness often have thoughts of suicide. Risk for suicide is most high when the person is suffering from depression. Some people commit suicide impulsively. Some individuals plan suicide. If a thought of suicide is voiced it should always be taken seriously.

Mental illness usually can be controlled with medication, but at this time there is no cure.

There are two major types of mental illness. Schizophrenia, Affective disorders (Bipolar, and Unipolar.)

"There is no greater help for those we love than from our Loving Savior, as He intercedes through our prayers, for their precious life's." Pressin-On, together with our Jesus!
Doede



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MARVELOUS GRACE !

I trust you dear Lord, You soothe my fear.
Though sometimes it's with You, I shed a tear.
My burdens You carry, because You care.
I know this is love, we will forever share.

You've given me Your Words, so that I can see.
They have given me strength, so tenderly.
You have opened my mind, no more darkness for me.
For I know that with You, there is Victory!

You have sent us others, who understand.
Please send them, Dear Lord, to everyland.
Now, keep us together, holding on to Your hand.
To win this Victory with You, I know we can!
Doede Poston



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There are links below to many sites with help for you in different areas.

Brain trama/injury, depression and many other useful links.



LINK BUTTON

Tramatic Brain Injury Resource Guide



LINK BUTTON

Brain Injury Information



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Suicide? Read this first!



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Suicide Information



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